Wednesday, February 29, 2012

A Morning to Make Me Want to Rip My Hair Out

Krewson, dear boy, you wore your mama out this morning.  Less than a week shy from turning two, you're usually a fairly easy-going kid, but sometimes you get in these funks that exhaust me and your daddy and leave us wondering what on EARTH we are supposed to do with you.

You had me deceived into thinking we were going to have an easy start to the day when I walked into your room to find you standing with a big grin slapped across your face, clutching your favorite giraffe and buffalo.  I scooped you into my arms and you cuddled against me, replying "Wes" (Yes) when I asked if you'd had a good night.  As we walked into my bathroom, you asked, "Daddy go?" and I replied with the news that Daddy had already gone to work.

And then the tide turned.

You lowered your brow and the grin disappeared.  You frowned into the bathroom mirror, still in my arms, only lifting your brow for a brief moment when I acted goofy in an attempt to cheer you up.  I sat on the toilet for a moment with you to cuddle, and you purposely dropped your giraffe and buffalo onto the floor. I asked, "You don't want your giraffe and buffalo anymore?"  "NO."  Well, ok then.

Nothing seemed to go right after that.  I was already running behind on time, but you just wanted to be held nonstop.  When I tried to put you down on the floor, you'd hold your toddler legs up in the air and clutch onto me like a little monkey.  When I tried to dress you, you cried and clutched your arms against your chest to prevent me from taking off your sleeper, pouting the whole time, "No off!! No off!! No dress!! No dress!!"

Back in the bathroom, finally dressed, I asked if you wanted a squeeze fruit pack to eat, and you said yes.  But when I handed it to you, you frowned your little frown and exclaimed "No!!"  I tried a different flavor.  No to that one too.  You just stood there pouting, staring at me like I was the worst mother ever.

"Nana!!" you exclaimed.  "You want a banana?" I asked.  "Ok," you replied.

So I picked you up for the trillionth time and headed downstairs.  Got you a banana.  Came back to the bathroom.  Now running even more behind schedule.  Open the banana and reach out to hand you half.  To which you reply, "NO!"

Goodness gracious.

At that point I just laid the banana on the counter and left the fruit packs on the floor.  Obviously you had no idea what you wanted.

I climbed in the shower, and as soon as you thought I wasn't looking, you chowed down the entire banana and most of the fruit packs.  (Insert eye roll.)  You then put on your own shoes.  And I congratulated you.  You were so proud, and I was proud of you.  But then I noticed you were walking funny.  Because they were on the wrong feet.  I suggested to you that you switch them on to the other feet.  "NO!!"

When it was time for me to blow-dry my hair, you freaked out because you're scared of the hair dryer and demanded to be held.  I made a quick futile attempt at drying my hair one-handed while holding you in my other arm and being sure not to blast you with the hot hair that you are so illogically terrified of.  Not so successful.  Needless to say, I went to work with wet hair.

When it was time to leave and I figured you'd forgotten you'd put your own shoes on, I decided to switch them onto the correct feet.  You didn't like that one bit.  Tears ensued.  When I asked you to put on your jacket, you refused.  Pretty much anything I asked you to do, you wanted to do the opposite.

As we were about to walk out the door, I ran upstairs to grab a cardigan to throw over my shirt in case the office was chilly.  As I came down the stairs, I heard a car honking and I ran to the front door, filled with the irrational fear that you had suddenly figured out how to open the locked front door and run into the street.  Instead I found you standing there with a giant mischievous grin on your face, grasping my key fob as you listened to my car alarm going off.  Ooooooooooh child.

Finally got you in the car, and of course you wanted to buckle yourself.  As I stood there waiting on you to clasp the buckle with your clumsy little toddler fingers, you looked at me, then pointed to the driver's seat and said, "Go."  (Excuse me?!?!)  To which I replied (in a surprisingly calm voice), "No, Krew, I am standing right here until you finish."  Fortunately for the both of us, you didn't argue that one and got yourself buckled fairly quickly.

Finally dropped you off at daycare at only a somewhat late time, wished Grandma Eileen the best of luck, then thought to myself I might need a Starbucks latte on the way to work to settle my nerves.  Every frazzled mama deserves a Starbucks latte, right???

And then I realized why I wanted a latte so bad.

Because I'd forgotten to eat breakfast.

Awesome.  THANK YOU CHILD for stressing me out so much that as a starving pregnant woman I forgot to EAT.  (And have I mentioned that I'm gluten intolerant and can only eat the breakfast items from maybe two restaurants?)

Starbucks latte it was.  Grande decaf nonfat raspberry latte.  Fortunately it filled me up enough to get me through the majority of the morning.

And honestly, after sipping down that latte, I must say I felt a whole lot better.  And I thought to myself, okay, parenting isn't that bad.  As long as I can drown my sorrows in a Starbucks latte.

All photos courtesy of the iPhone. :)

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