To many of us, this is a very familiar passage. We tend to read it quickly, our eyes glossing over because we know what it says. Love is patient, love is kind, yada yada. But really, this passage is SO FULL of challenges for us in EACH and ALL of our relationships. Really break it down and think about it. Think about how each step of this passage looks in any given relationship:
In your marriage:
Love is patient - Are you being patient with your spouse, even when he/she does the same frustrating things over and over?
Love is kind - Are you being kind to your spouse? Are you looking for opportunities to show kindness?
It does not envy - Are you jealous of your spouse? Are you jealous of his/her job, schedule, friends, social life, popularity, achievements, etc.?
It does not boast, it is not proud. - Do you like to brag or talk highly of yourself in discussions or arguments with your spouse?
It does not dishonor others - Do you do or say things that dishonor your spouse, whether in front of him/her or behind his/her back?
It is not self-seeking - Are you seeking the best for yourself, or the best for your spouse?
It is not easily angered - Do you become angry quickly with your spouse?
It keeps no record of wrongs - In the back of your mind, do you keep a running list of all the things your spouse has done to frustrate or hurt you lately?
Love does not delight in evil - Do you rejoice when your spouse "gets what he/she had coming"? Or do you share in his/her pain?
It rejoices with the truth - Do you always tell the truth and seek biblical wisdom in dealing with your relationship?
It always protects - Do you protect your spouse from others, whether it be their actions or their words?
It always trusts - Do you trust your spouse, and make it clear to him/her that you do?
It always hopes - Do you always hope for the best in your spouse's life?
It always perseveres - Do you always hang in there, staying by his/her side, no matter the situation?
In each of your friendships:
Love is patient - Are you being patient with your friend, even when he/she does things that bother you over and over?
Love is kind - Are you being kind to your friend? Are you looking for opportunities to show kindness?
It does not envy - Are you jealous of your friend? Are you jealous of his/her job, belongings, lifestyle, children, abilities, schedule, friends, social life, popularity, achievements, etc.?
It does not boast, it is not proud. - Do you like to brag or talk highly of yourself to your friend?
It does not dishonor others - Do you do or say things that dishonor your friend, whether in front of him/her or behind his/her back (aka gossip)?
It is not self-seeking - Are you seeking the best for yourself, or the best for your friend?
It is not easily angered - Do you become angry quickly with your friend?
It keeps no record of wrongs - In the back of your mind, do you keep a running list of all the things your friend has done to frustrate or hurt you lately?
Love does not delight in evil - Do you rejoice when your friend "gets what he/she had coming"? Or do you share in his/her pain?
It rejoices with the truth - Do you always tell the truth and seek biblical wisdom in dealing with your relationship?
It always protects - Do you protect your friend from others, whether it be their actions or their words?
It always trusts - Do you trust your friend, and make it clear to him/her that you do?
It always hopes - Do you always hope for the best in your friend's life?
It always perseveres - Do you always hang in there, staying by his/her side, no matter the situation?
With each of your children:
Love is patient - Are you being patient with your child, even when he/she disobeys or frustrates you over and over?
Love is kind - Are you being kind to your child? Are you looking for opportunities to show kindness?
It does not envy - Do you ever feel jealous of your child?
It does not boast, it is not proud. - Do you like to brag or talk highly of yourself when talking with your child? Are you willing to admit that you are imperfect? Are you willing to admit the times that you are wrong?
It does not dishonor others - Do you do or say things that dishonor your child, whether in front of him/her or behind his/her back?
It is not self-seeking - Are you seeking the best for yourself, or the best for your child?
It is not easily angered - Do you become angry quickly with your child?
It keeps no record of wrongs - In the back of your mind, do you keep a running list of all the things your child has done to frustrate or disobey you lately?
Love does not delight in evil - Do you rejoice when your child "gets what he/she had coming" or "learns his/her lesson"? Or do you share in his/her pain?
It rejoices with the truth - Do you always tell the truth and seek biblical wisdom in your parenting?
It always protects - Do you protect your child from others, whether it be their actions or their words?
It always trusts - Do you trust your child, and make it clear to him/her that you do?
It always hopes - Do you always hope for the best in your child's life?
It always perseveres - Do you always hang in there, staying by his/her side, no matter the situation?
You can go through this list with any of your relationships. Think about your parents, your coworkers, your church family, your neighbors. Are you truly showing love in each of these relationships?
Obviously, none of us can be perfect or fulfill this list with every relationship all the time. We are imperfect and shouldn't expect ourselves to be perfect. Nonetheless, we should be working to fulfill God's law that we love one another, and we should be depending on Him to give us strength, wisdom, guidance, and grace. I know there are quite a few areas that I need to work on. What about you? How are you doing with this list?
Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,” and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” - Romans 13:8-9
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