Life Lately and Now

We've had a lot of happenings in our lives lately, most of them being not-so-good...the most severe of the cases not affecting our personal lives too dramatically, but enough still that I hurt and think and dwell.  Add to this the horrible events our country has experienced over the past week, and I've found myself almost feeling numb to negative news, such that when something bad happens I'm no longer in shock but rather just interested to hear the facts and aching for the people who have been hurt.  

This past Friday I even found myself on the verge of a panic attack, which I haven't experienced for quite some time.  (Somehow I pulled myself out of it.  Prayer, some spontaneous tae bo moves, and talking to the hubby helped.)

It seems that everything is starting to slow down now...or maybe it's more than we've adjusted to the things that have happened, and they've become our new normal, and no new bad news has come floating in, so things feel ok?

Whatever the case, I'm thankful to sit here and feel at peace in my heart despite circumstances around us.  I suppose it's God's peace that passes all understanding.  I sat outside with my toddler today, eating lunch on our back patio, and relished the moment alone with him, sharing his blueberries and broccoli pieces that he wanted to split evenly with me.

Moments like those make me so grateful and I feel my heart just lifting up praise to God for the blessings in my life, big and small, significant and insignificant.  I praise Him for a wonderful husband who loves me beyond words, for two adorable and healthy sons.  For our beautiful home, for our green grass and lettuce in the garden and peach tree and raspberry plant, for healthy food to put on the table.  For family and friends that love us in all parts of the country.  For a church with awesome music and thought-provoking sermons.  For consignment shops where I can purchase my children clothing without breaking the bank when I get a shopping itch.  For our sweet pups.  For my iPhone.  For the sunshine.  For coffee.

For my Savior.

There are so many things to be thankful for, big things and little things, and I look around and realize how blessed I truly am.

And peace comes over my heart, and I cherish the moment and push the bad thoughts away.

And life feels okay.

Thank you God, for giving me this peace, and for enabling me to focus on the good when I could just as easily focus on the bad.

It's by Your grace and strength alone, I know this.